I think of myself as an authentic, warm and sincere person. I like to have deep and meaningful conversations on a variety of topics, typically in one-to-one settings. I have a strong work ethic, and am able to work independently for extended periods, without needing much rest or feeling burned out. I can keep this up for months on end, like clockwork.
My pet peeves are frivolous topics by flippant people. If you want someone to solve problems and fight together in the trenches for as long as it takes to complete the task, I’m your guy. If you want someone to chat about the unsubstantial and inconsequential, I’m a poor fit. Some people think that because life is short, we should enjoy it while we can. I think that because life is short, I should do everything in my power to make a difference.
I believe this to be my strength. Or at least my ex-boss thought so. I started off in a junior position. I worked hard and absorbed knowledge like a sponge. I was given tough cases to work on, and I delivered. My reward? Tougher cases. Love it.
One client was so satisfied with my responsiveness and value-add that when the time came for contract renewal, he was happy to pay 15% higher. I helped another client save S$2m in taxes, pulling in billable fees of over S$200k on that single job. This is unprecedented. For my efforts, I was rewarded with a rising star nomination. I did not win the award, but received a special mention from the CEO. I was promoted every year. I was granted full autonomy of how I would like to conduct my day.
But I’ve learned that my strength is also my weakness. I’m not sure how much my co-workers enjoyed my company. For me, work and personal life should be separate. I appealed to logic and pragmatism, not to their hearts. Co-workers would ask me for drinks after work, and I would decline. Small talk, work-place gossip, coupled with noisy and dimly-lit environments, conspire together to tire me out more than it should. I don’t like birthday parties. I don’t like dinner and dance events.
But people management is about winning people’s hearts and minds. If I neglect the former, I’ll lose the latter too. People want to be treated as human beings, not as merely a co-worker and certainly not as a unit of labour. They want you to show care and concern, and it has to be delivered in a way that is effective to the individual.
This weakness is exacerbated now that I’m running a small outfit. I learned that my energy levels can have a direct impact on my staff’s energy levels. My stoic nature and consistent energy levels might not be suitable in a fun-filled and high-energy environment.
I’ve learned that the way I carry myself, or the way I speak, can have unintended consequences far beyond what I can imagine. I am no longer an individual contributor beavering away at a task, reporting to a boss.
Now I have to lead. I have to inspire. Why else would people want to work for a small outfit? I have to learn how to project a different persona to suit the occasion. I have to learn to code-switch. I have a lot of work cut out for me.
I think the Serenity Prayer will be helpful for me here: Courage to change the things I can, Serenity to accept the things I cannot, and Wisdom to know the difference.
